How I see him.

There's been a few strange things about adjusting to life with my Si.  They are little, but I'm kind of an awkward person, so it's big for me.

The more time I spend with Si, the more I see his characteristics of Down Syndrome...but also the less I think of him to be "a Baby with Down Syndrome".   A lot of times I wonder when we meet someone new or if an acquaintance is meeting him for the first time...can they tell he has DS?  It doesn't matter except that don't know if I should blurt it out or what?  The only reason I want them to know is so they don't find out then they've already said something they could be embarrassed about or regret.  I just don't want anyone to feel weird or uncomfortable...I want everyone to feel the way I feel when I lay on the couch and he smiles at me.  I desperately want everyone to experience the joy I have when I look at him.  That's impossible, I know... that would be weird, I know.  I am "the mom" obviously.  But I just want everyone in the world to know how sweet he is.  I want them to see that he is just like my first 3 babies.  He smiles, he laughs, he loves to be talked to and he loves to puke on my shoulder every time I pick him up.  

Being a photographer, all of my kids get photographed like crazy.  Believe me when I tell you that every stage is well documented.  Same with Si, but his stages are lasting longer and I am having trouble capturing how I see him.  Most pictures I take, it is obvious of his diagnosis.  They are just not quite him.  I love the pictures, that are 1 in 50, that are completely him.  These 3 pictures are him.  This is my baby.  My sweet Si that loves to smile and be talked to for an hour.  I guess it's not my problem who can tell how special he is.  This is how I see him right now... and if you don't thing he is adorable... that's ridiculous... I know you think he's adorable.