Unfair Expectations

So, I'm so excited about my kids having Si as a "cheat sheet" for being compassionate and accepting. My conversation last night made me realize that I'm expecting too much and assuming they get these over night super powers.

We are lucky enough to have a man in Lily's Taekwondo class with Down Syndrome.  This was just a bonus for me when I went to sign Lily and Seth up for classes.  So I get to sit and chat with his mom and sister while we watch him and Lily learn to punch and kick things.  It's awesome.  I could sit and listen to what their family has been through all night.  I get to hear stories of 33 years ago,  when hardly anything was the same as it is now.  She tells me of how he recognizes other people with Down Syndrome and is drawn to them.  I introduced Si and he reached out immediately for him and hugged him good bye till I peeled him away.  It was beautiful to watch them together.

I had noticed Lily staring at him during class.  I know she was just thinking to herself, but it occurred to me that I should tell her how it looked.  I told her on the way home....

Me:  Hey, Lily.  You should talk to Ray during class.

Lily: I don't think I should talk during class.

Me: I mean at the water fountain for something.  You know, I saw you staring at him... you should say 'hi'.  I mean that would be a good example to the other kids on how to act with someone with Down Syndrome.

Lily:  .............

Me:  I mean sometimes people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities.

Lily: why?

Me: I don't know.  They just may look different and not know what they should say.

Lily: Well, sometimes people are uncomfortable with people who aren't their little brother with Down Syndrome.

Me: ............ oh.............ok..... (smiled)  Thats ok.

Lily:  (smiled)


As I thought on the way home, I felt terrible for having these expectations or assumptions on how my kids "should" act.  Especially when I don't even know how to act half the time.  The truth is, it is an uncomfortable thing when someone is different.  It's okay to feel that way.  I remember walking into our first meeting with the Down Syndrome Outreach group.  I had no idea how to act.  I didn't know if I was talking down to someone, staring... I didn't know if my kids were playing too rough.  Am I acting politically correct?  Am I using the "right" terms?  It was overwhelming.  It still can be.  The fact is, the more my kids go to our DS meetings, have kids or adults with DS in their activities and see people with disabilities in every day life... the less they will stare, the more they will say "hey!" and the more "at ease" they will feel with others and themselves.

This is why I love having this huge team for the Buddy Walk!  I know I'm supposed to be raising money.  But I don't want to discourage anyone from walking with us because the more people that are there, the more they will be exposed to these differences... and hopefully they will see that there really aren't that many differences after all.

Conversation with Seth...

Me: eew... that shovel is for picking up Zelda's poo.  Go put it back.

Seth: I don't have a shovel.

Me: What?

Seth: I don't have a shovel.'

Me: What's that?

Seth: A shovel.

Me:  ..........

Seth on Singing Frozen.

Seth: mom, you don't talk during frozen. I'm Elsa. Your Anna. No. I'm Elsa and Anna. 

Me: when can I sing?

Seth: you can sing he girl parts.... But not Elsa. And not Anna. 

Me: so I sing the boy parts? 

Seth: no. I'm the boys. And Elsa and anna. 

Me: .....

Trying to Treasure....

But Seth talks A LOT.

Conversation with Seth.

He is in the car opening his sandwich. 

Seth: oh mom! It's so soft! 

Me: good. Is that good?

Seth: it's so soft... Soft like a sheep. 

Me: ok

Seth:  oh it's sooo good!!!  I've never had such a yummy sandwich. 

Lily's Fundraiser.

Lily has been fundraising for Team Si for the past couple of weeks.  And I use the term loosely.  She has been making pipe cleaner/origami flower bracelets and origami ninja stars to sell to her classmates.  She is selling them for $.05 each.  The paper costs about 4x that and for the students who are not allowed to buy things at school.... well, she just gives it to them.  So... she has $.25 now.  So...if you would like to purchase a bracelet or ninja star for Team Si, let her know.  Suggested value $.05, but free to those who can't make a donation.

Sweet Girl, but I'm thinking not a future CFO.

As I gave her and her brother $3.00 for allowance and helping me wash baseboards and kitchen cabinets this weekend... she immediately put $1 into the jar.

"Budy Walk Mony for Silas"

Conversation with Seth...

Me: I'm so glad you can buckle yourself! You're so big!

Seth: yep, and the name is SETH MCFARLAND!

Me: (chuckle)

Seth: what mom? He's your favorite boy!!