When Si was officially diagnosed with Down Syndrome, one of the first questions they asked me was "would you like the number of an Early Intervention group?" This was an easy answer because I was positive I needed all the help I could get in giving Silas the best and brightest start in his life and education. This was the best "Yes" I have given since his birth. He has been participating in Early Intervention since he was 4 weeks old. We were fortunate enough to have no turnover with his Occupational Therapist and his Speech Pathologist. Jessica (OT) has been with us since the beginning. And Jennifer (SLP) was with us since he we around 1 year. Now, this is a strange thing... they were both in and out of our house for 3 years... typically twice a month. So, I would say I am "friends" with both of them. But they really end up feeling more like family. I've never met their family, though I know of them. I've never been to their house, of course... but I know they have dogs that are like family to them. I know where they live... not in a creepy way. They know many things about me, but far from everything. They know the important things. They know Si. They know he won't always do what we know he is perfectly capable of doing. They know Si has brothers and a sister that love him more than words could explain and are a big reason he has accomplished what he has. They know he's not quite as spoiled as he could be. They know a few more things, but these are some important things that are important and difficult to truly see to the average person. I guess what they do know is enough to have formed this bond that feels so unnatural to break.
Silas and Jessica (I forgot to get my picture with Si and Jennifer.)
See, they both came and left my house this week for the last time. I can't really explain the dread that I have been feeling about this for several months... really dreading for about a year. I can't really explain why I shed tears as they drove away or why I'm crying as I write this. It boggles my mind how, really, almost strangers can end up being such an important part of mine and Silas's life. Now I know they aren't strangers, but I've never cried over my kids leaving a teacher at school.... let's face it... I don't really cry over anyone....give or take a best friend moving. It is just amazing to me how Si makes me feel. I'm not talking about loving him or being proud of him or how I feel when he smiles. I'm talking about how he makes me feel about others. Jessica and Jennifer were not just people that helped my baby boy lift his head, sit up, crawl, communicate or walk...in fact, they usually were not near him when he did any of those things. But they showed us how to do it. Beyond that, they were, really, my therapists. They managed my stress, my guilt, my struggles. They shared my joys, Si's accomplishments, his silliness. Whether they meant to or not. So these women that would come and go from my house 2 hours a month shared Silas with me. I suppose that's why I'm so sad. They came focused on one of my five most beloved humans. They sometimes focused on 2 or 3 of them. I know Silas was 1 of, who knows how many, kids they worked with a day, but they were OUR family. They will be missed and I hope they know how important they are to the families that they service.
Now we are starting over.... entering "The Public School System"! IEP MEETINGS! This was scary to me. This is still scary to me. First, I think it was the fact that my kids will go to different schools (I'll save that discussion for another day) Second, it's what's above, we are leaving our comfort....our people that already know Silas. Then there is, going into a place that, in the community of special needs parents or groups, is not typically given rave reviews. All these factors have kind of made me a little bit of a wreck for a few months now.
But we are starting over... this means, more likely than not, that I will be writing this post again about the people that are about to enter our life. It won't be the same, because we won't have them in our own home. But they will effect Si in a big way. Their goals for him are already exciting. I'm slowly but surely feeling my fears subside and being replaced with optimism and excitement. Si will be spending 3 days a week at the preschool and all of that time will have a Speech pathologist in his classroom. He will be pulled away for one on one and group therapy. He will be so much more immersed is what he needs right now. This will be (don't check my math) at least 80% more therapy a month than he was already getting! I've met all the people he will be working with and they are sweet and experienced teachers. I've even heard that they are the best at what they do. So... this is good. I'll have to find my own therapists for me I guess....instead of mooching off of Si's. :)
I'm praying for both of us as we transition to this new phase in his education and development. Si is handling it much better than I am so far. But with every prayer and visit to his new school, I become more confident. I know God has great things planned for Si and I can not wait to see it... and I can't wait to hear Si tell me the plan. :)
