How I see him.

There's been a few strange things about adjusting to life with my Si.  They are little, but I'm kind of an awkward person, so it's big for me.

The more time I spend with Si, the more I see his characteristics of Down Syndrome...but also the less I think of him to be "a Baby with Down Syndrome".   A lot of times I wonder when we meet someone new or if an acquaintance is meeting him for the first time...can they tell he has DS?  It doesn't matter except that don't know if I should blurt it out or what?  The only reason I want them to know is so they don't find out then they've already said something they could be embarrassed about or regret.  I just don't want anyone to feel weird or uncomfortable...I want everyone to feel the way I feel when I lay on the couch and he smiles at me.  I desperately want everyone to experience the joy I have when I look at him.  That's impossible, I know... that would be weird, I know.  I am "the mom" obviously.  But I just want everyone in the world to know how sweet he is.  I want them to see that he is just like my first 3 babies.  He smiles, he laughs, he loves to be talked to and he loves to puke on my shoulder every time I pick him up.  

Being a photographer, all of my kids get photographed like crazy.  Believe me when I tell you that every stage is well documented.  Same with Si, but his stages are lasting longer and I am having trouble capturing how I see him.  Most pictures I take, it is obvious of his diagnosis.  They are just not quite him.  I love the pictures, that are 1 in 50, that are completely him.  These 3 pictures are him.  This is my baby.  My sweet Si that loves to smile and be talked to for an hour.  I guess it's not my problem who can tell how special he is.  This is how I see him right now... and if you don't thing he is adorable... that's ridiculous... I know you think he's adorable.  

Smile Guy

My favorite

I've been searching the web for ways to support the Down Syndrome community... this doesn't support anything, unfortunately, but would bring awareness, I suppose.  Anyway, it has been my favorite for siblings.

I might have to make one myself. :)

I did find a great site that employs people with Down Syndrome and helps find employment.  I bought a car magnet, hoodie and hat for Rob there.  The merchandise is sold or packaged by someone with Down Syndrome.  I'd love to find new sites like this one, if anyone comes across one.

Loving Si

I am amazed everyday by my Sweet Si.  He is so easy to love and is loved by so many people already.  Not to under play the love for all my kiddos... but there is something about knowing that he will depend on me so much for much of his life, that makes the love different.  I think about it often and can't help but compare it to God's Love for his people.  He loves our complete dependence on Him.  I don't pretend to know His perfect Love or how He feels for any of us.  But I do know that I can't help but have a special place, for my Si, in my own heart.  I believe God keeps a special place for those who can empty their life of all dependence on the world and themselves.  I know now what the scriptures mean by making ourselves like little babies.  I think He was talking about babies like Si... that grow and still will have a heart of total dependence.

1At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  Matthew 18:1-4

I pray for Si's independence.  I pray for the day he will have his own life, job and ministry.  I pray for the day he moves from dependency on me to total dependency on God.  He has changed our family with Si.  He is carving a special place in all of our hearts...

When I wake up every morning, I thank God for remembering us in His plan and entrusting us with Silas.  I pray every night to continue to have years and years with him and that he grows to truly know God and will serve Him with his entire being.  I have a feeling Si will know Him better than any of us.

Super Strong!

He's getting stronger everyday.  To tell the truth, we both could use some "core" strengthening.  So we do our exercises together most days.  Si seems to love it outside... so he'll be fitting in with us fine this summer.  Hopefully his hair will grow back so he doesn't get a ring around the back of his head of sunburn.  

The pantless one. The easier to pee outside look.

He smiles quite a bit now, but it's so hard to catch on camera still!

Happy valentines day

Lily, you are a blessing because you are my only sister and you care for me and you play with me. I thank you for blessing me in all the ways you do. I love you and I care for you.

XO
Love,
Ian

Super Si!

Boys are the best.... even though I'm more than obsessed with my Lily, I love my boys.  I was blessed with My Sweet Si on January 21st.  He weighed 8.8 and was 19 inches long.  We had a rough start with him being in the NICU for almost 2 weeks, but we are home and have fallen in love with him....all of us.