Ian

Ian: (watching Scoobie Doo)
Me: I used to watch Scoobie Do when I was little.
Ian: You did? Did it used to scare you a little when you went to bed at night?
Me: (laugh) no.
Ian: Well....It scares me pretty much.

I asked for it.

Mom: Ian, great job eating your quesadilla. I didn't know you'd eat the whole thing!
Ian: Yeah, I knew it, because I have a BIG tummy! I can eat a lot of stuff.
Mom: ......do I have a big tummy?
Ian: No, you don't.
Mom: (feeling good about my sweet son and myself)
Ian: But you do have a big uterus.
Mom: ...