Conversation with Seth...

Seth looked over at me and gave me a huge smile that went all the way to his big, brown eyes....

Me: I love if when you smile like that!

He looks away.

Seth: Do you love it when I toot... like I just did?

Me:  :/

Sethie Love...

Seth:  Here's a letter for you.  It says, 'Momma, I love you.  Your eyes are pretty and your hair is pretty.  I like your shirt.'

Seth.

Seth is on my heart tonight.  We had an unexpected "date night" tonight.  It was only for about 30 minutes as we waited for Rob to bring the other 3 to meet us.  More about our night later...

This boy has had a lot of life for one little guy.  He started out as this sweet tiny baby.  He get a bad rap these days.  As life has gone on for him, he has changed and grown.  It hasn't always been that pleasant.  :)  He has been through 2 pregnancies.  The first one he had to stop nursing in one day.  I hated that day so much.  I was happy for the reason of being pregnant, but sorrowful to have to stop so suddenly with him.  He's been through one of my miscarriages.  Actually the very worst one, if I were to categorize them.  Seth lived through the, if not THE worst, time in my life as I lost baby number 6.  I look back on this time and see how he he was sensing all the stress and sorrow I was feeling.  That's a lot for a little guy.  Then he watched as I was miserable through a pregnancy that I was terrified of and didn't want.  Then he welcomed this little, new guy into his life... with opened arms.  But, again, he felt our anxiety through the first couple of months.  He then sits back day after day and watches as therapists come in and out of our home and we go to doctors appointments after doctor's appointments with Si.  He watches as strangers, friends and family talk to Si first, smile and talk about how he is a "blessing", he is an "angel", he is a "Gift from God".  He agrees with all these descriptions and he treats Si, mostly, in the same way.  One difference.  Seth also is the only person that sees Si for who he is.  A little, bratty brother.  Si kicks him and Seth punches him back.  Lightly, but it's a punch... it's a kick... it's a frustrated brother.  You see, Seth gives Si what he needs most.  The opportunity to be treated like anyone else.  It's as much fun for me to see as when Seth spontaneously kisses or hugs him.  They ADORE each other.  I think their relationship is going to be the most real and the most cherished by both of them.  We have had many challenges with Seth over these 4 years.  I think a lot of it stems from the things above.  A lot of it was my lack of consistency, as I was tired and stressed.  There were times... there are times where I don't know if this boy will contribute positively to society. :)  He is a potty mouth.  He cries and screams out of no where.  He hits his sister.  But this past year he has made a turn.  He still will do those things and much more.  But he also is the funniest guy I know.  He can express him self in a way that is well beyond his years.  He asks the smartest questions.  He loves his baby brother with his whole heart.  He says the sweetest things about little girls and how beautiful he finds them.



.... back to our date....

Seth is a completely different boy when he has my undivided attention.  Tonight he had it.  He had me laughing so hard as we sat eating.  He gladly took a "date" picture with me.  He explained to me the sweetest things that had to go on for it to be our date.  He still had a potty mouth... but as most know... he got it from me.  It's part of why we laughed so hard.  Seth is one of the Loves of my life.  He has my heart.  He has "my heart in his heart", as he has started telling me lately.

I see many more dates in our future.  I see a bright future for this little boy that has come so for and been with me through so much.  We are still working and will be working on him for a while.  But know that God has great plans for him and that you will probably hear the phrase "oh, my butt crack" if you spend much time with him.  Sorry for that in advance.

Conversation with seth....

We were on the car listening to Bruno Mars : when I was your man....

Seth: mom, you know why I love this song? 

Me: nope, why? 

Seth:  because it makes me think of my heart going into your heart. 

Me: aww

Seth:  you know what that means?

Me: no but I think I might cry. 

Seth:  it means "I love you". 

Me:  (crying) 

Observations by Ian...

(As all 6 of us were enjoying our afternoon.)

Ian:  Mom!  I bet these cars think you and dad are crazy as they drive by....

Me:  Why? It's a beautiful day and our family likes being outside together....

Ian:  Mom.  You have 4 kids.

Me:  True.  True.

Conversations with Seth...

Seth: (sitting on a stool)  OH!  My butt crack!

Lily: Oh...what's wrong Rocket Butt?

Seth: Lily!!!  NO!!! Only Uncle Thomas can call me Rocket Butt!!!!

Buds

So... Our church nursery has a thing where the older kids rotate to different stations throughout their stay in the nursery.  It's a really fun thing for the kids and I have participated in for a few months.  But Si had been at the age for it for a few months now... but I had not pushed him to do it yet.  It was a little stressful for me, to be honest.  I didn't know if he could do it... I didn't know if he'd stress the teachers out... if he'd be in the way of the other kids... etc.  I finally decided to let him make the move but Ian, Lily or I would rotate with him to help get him adjusted and really I wanted to see for myself how he would do.  I was relieved to see that he wasn't so bad. :)  He climbed on the tables a little... he didn't answer the teachers... but neither did the other kids.  One thing that was interesting was seeing him alongside kids that are his age.  It made me realize his differences.  He can't quite get the train through the tunnel... he can't tell the helpers what he wants help with.  The good news is... I have a new list of goals for his speech and Occupational Therapist and look how cute he is in there!  He's having fun....and he's making friends.  Speaking of friends....

This is Si and Brady.  They were born 4 days apart, I think. In fact, he was being delivered the very day we received Si's "official" diagnosis.  Brady's grandpa prayed with Rob while he was waiting to see him.  

Brady is a sweet little guy who I've found to be such a good example for Si in the nursery.  They played together tonight.  Even though Si's hands are a little less purposeful and his words are fewer.... Brady played and was patient and willing to wait for him.  I hope he can always have peers like Brady in his life.